Losing a friend......

...you never know exactly how you will handle the loss of a friend until it happens. Whether expected or not, its a devestating feeling to realize how precious life really is. I knew several months ago that Amy was not expected to live...her battle with breast cancer was futile, but I still had that unrealistic hope that with her positive attitude and extreme will to live, maybe a miracle would happen. She was too young (same age as me), too full of life, too determined--to not beat this horrible disease. I never saw her one time in the last 16 months that she has been fighting this, that she didn't have a smile on her face and a string of jokes coming out of her mouth. She laughed in the face of death....she was going to make it! Hearing the news yesterday that Amy had passed away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to hear. I've lost loved ones in the past but never someone close to my age. Its hard to process that someone I went to school with, that I knew since kindergarten...could really be gone. We are too young to have to deal with this. We were such a close class anyway (only 24 kids in our graduating class), its almost like losing a sister.

I fight with my urge to be angry with God...how could he take someone so young from us? I try to understand why? And I know he always has a plan..well, I can already see it a little bit. In her death, our classmates are brought closer again with our common bond of sadness. I've talked to people that I had graduated with that I hadn't talked to in years. More people in her life are aware of the horrible disease of breast cancer and are doing things about it. I know Amy's illness brought her family so much closer together...in a way I'd never seen before. I am realizing how precious life really is...needing to make sure everyone I love knows it! I will hug them all a little tighter, let them know I love them every chance I get, and never take my friends and family for granted. I'm sure there is more to see as I work through this grieving process but for now, I know Amy is no longer in pain, is looking down on us all, and knowing Amy--she might be spewing out a few dirty jokes to all the other angels.

Amy--you will be missed more than words can say! You are a hero--bigger than life! I love you and will miss you with all my heart!

A REAL LIVE Date??? I must be dreaming?

Yayyyy!!! We got a babysitter and are actually going out tonight!!!! I don't even know how to get ready for a date--they are so few & far between! Jack is taking me out dancing even...now that is really rare for us. I'm so excited...I feel like a teenager getting ready for the prom--LOL.

UPDATE: OMG---so much fun!!!! Didn't get home until 3 this morning. I feel so yucky right now but still its a good hangover--LOL. I got to go out and have fun...so worth the pain now! I needed that so bad. And Jack even DANCED with me!!!!! Now that is so awesome!!!! Only sad thing was that Bobbi didn't come out :( She ditched me (just kidding, girl!) but I'll get her next time! Don't worry Bobhead---your sister made sure I had at least one jagerbomb--LOL!!!!

Reflections on Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for? The simple things, the tiniest accomplishments, things that other people may think are silly....I make a list in my head, and laugh a little to myself (because I'm weird like that--LOL) and say, hmmmm....I really should write them down. Just to see how incredibly lucky I am. So, here they are:

• A happy & healthy family--as strange and messed up as we all are, I still love them all (well, I can exclude that one bitchy sister-in-law, right?--and no BillieJo and Sandra, I don't mean you!)
• Toilet paper--never know how thankful you are for it until you are out! (Thank God that Ben always has a stash at his shop...especially when all the stores are closed!)
• Coffee--sometimes the only thing that can keep me sane & functional in the morning!
• Beer---the other thing that keeps me sane sometimes (I try to refrain from drinking in the morning though)--LOL
• Fabric---my addiction, my obsession, my business! I love fabric and love that I have fabric. Sounds crazy but I truly love to see what goes with what and be inspired to make something unique. I can lay out fabric pieces and just envision the most amazing outfit to make. Granted, they don't always come out how I pictured them in my head but sometimes they come out even better. I'm thankful that I have this gift to sew and design. I love that I am able to stay at home and be a mommy and still get to do something I love to do.
• Greys Anatomy---what can I say, if you watch it--you understand, if you don't, you just won't understand--LOL
• Curtains & Blinds---God knows my neighbors and all the people that drive by are probably more thankful for them than me--LOL
• Sweats....who isn't thankful for them, right?
• Jack--who loves me unconditionally, and even thinks I'm cute in the morning with my freaky afro hair sticking out. He puts me on a pedestal & loves me, chubbies, stretch marks, and all. I'm so lucky to have found a man who loves Logan & Dani just like they were his own and doesn't treat them any differently than his own daughter. He is a hard worker (sometimes too much but I know its all for me & our family), helps around the house even though I'm home all day, is just a great all around man--for the most part--LOL.
• Logan--a wonderful young man who makes me so proud to be his mom. He made the honor roll last week--WOOHOO. He has just grown into such a great person and I am so proud of how responsible and respectful he is in this world of disrespectful teens. He was diagnosed with diabetes last November (right after Thanksgiving) and he has done so well with the changes to his lifestyle. I don't know that I would have handled the changes as well as he has. As he is planning to head off to college, my heart is torn. I'm so proud, yet so heartbroken that my baby boy is getting ready to leave the nest.
• Dani--a beautiful young lady that really isn't your typical teenager. Yes, she loves to talk on the phone & hang out with her friends. But she is always willing to jump in & help with Adalyn whenever I need her. She is sweet....down to her core. She is such a beautiful person, inside and out. She works hard, is super responsible for her age, helps around the house and just a joy to be around (most of the time--LOL)
• Adalyn--my second chance to be a wonderful mom. I was so young when Logan & Dani were little, I didn't appreciate how fun it was to be a mommy. Now, I got the chance again and I'm so thankful for that. She is absolutely adorable, such a little clown. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not laughing my ass off at something she does or says. She is growing too fast but I try to deal with that the best I know how.
• Great friends, real friends (you know who you are, I don't need to post names!) I can count you all on one hand but you are the ones that make me laugh when I don't feel like laughing, can cry right along with me when I'm sad, and stand by me through thick & thin. I know I can come to you with anything and you will do anything in your power to help me. It doesn't matter if we talk every day or only once a month...I know as soon as we talk again, we click and love & trust each other with everything! I love you all and couldn't have survived alot of things without you. You all know that I would move the earth & moon for you too!

The BEST Christmas Gift EVER!!!!

LMAO---shopping online for unique gifts can bring up some crazy options!!! Check these out!!!!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7977789

I'm thinking I have a whole list of people that deserve these special One of a Kind gifts--LOL.
Raenita

Well, there goes my dumba$$ hubby....

Hmmmm......another Sunday where I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up PO'd at the old hubby before the day is over. Jack & his brother always get these great "ideas" of how to get something for nothing with just a little sweat. It makes me CRAZY!!!!! Well, let me go back a few months.......

This old guy offered Jack & his bro a storage shed...only catch, they had to move all his tools from the old shed into his new one he had built. So, Jack enlisted the help of Logan too and that got the tools & stuff all moved in a day. Then, they start thinking the shed looks a little big to actually get on a trailer & move......YEP, it is!!!! So, Jack--being the actual sensible one of the two (LOL) says, lets just tear it down & haul it to the dump. Steve (the bro) talks him into to CUTTING THE SHED IN HALF WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!! so they can get it on a trailer & move it down here. Then, they can put it back together & sell it!!!! You got it, Jack agrees!!!!! Why won't he just say thats a dumb ass idea! So, they bring one half down...no problem. The next half, its getting dark out....so of course, they get pulled over by the cops & get a ticket for no tail lights...its just retarded. Anyway, to make a long story shorter....this "FREE" shed that they were gonna make some extra $$$ on...ended up costing Jack like $200 and the worst part....by the time they got it down here, it really wasn't able to be put back together and they tore it apart & burnt it!

So, anyway....things like that happen all the time and what do you think I thought when Steve called Jack to tell him that there are a bunch of blown down trees at the lake (we had a bad windstorm the other day) that they can go cut up and get a bunch of free firewood. Ok, free firewood is nice but I'm just thinking....ok, the one tree this guy wants them to cut up is too big around for a saw and they already have some crazy scheme on how they are going to get it home (involves some kind of pulley system and a huge trailer???) I can just tell this has bad idea written all over it!!!! I can guarantee you...one of them is going to end up getting hurt or something will get broken....something bad and then, I'm gonna be pissed!!!! Ok, maybe what I'm more mad about is that Sundays are the only day I get to hang out with Jack all day and he just left me--LOL. Enough of a rant now.....geez, anyone know what got into me that I would talk this much :) (Be quiet Tiffany.....I know you want to comment that TTG is back---LMAO)

The Crazy World I Live in!

I've shown about everyone this picture but it is just too freaky not to post here...just so you can see what a strange little backwoods world I live in--LOL. This is a picture of an elk that some friends of ours killed...it was so freakin' huge they had to strap it to their 4-wheeler to get it out of the woods. Now some of you may be offended, some may laugh uncontrollably (after all, it does kind of look like the elk is humping the 4-wheeler) and some may just say "WHAT????" But this is life...redneck as can be, but always entertaining.

The Nutritional Benefits of Popcorn & Licorice?

OK...now be aware....our fridge is bare and I have a very strong willed 3 yr old BUT as we sit here eating popcorn and licorice for breakfast, I wonder......is there any real nutritional value to these two food products? I mean, in my own twisted mind, I can say well, popcorn, comes from corn so there is a vegetable...and licorice is like strawberry-ish flavored so there is a fruit. Now to just find the other food groups in my grocery deprived house--LOL. WAIT......Don't turn me into Childrens services.....I just found an apple and some left over rice from dinner. WooHoo...I feel like a better parent already!!!! I better go to the store today, that will be my goal--LOL.

Seriously? I'm doing this?

Well, with the prompting of a few friends (Tiff---mainly), I had to start a blog. I don't know if I have much interesting to talk about but I'll sure try to keep you all entertained--LOL. Now to figure out all the cool stuff I can do on here. Have to figure out how to post pics....then, you all better be prepared because you are going to be bombarded with them!!!! I'll be back with tons of new things to tell you....as I know you will be waiting on the edge of your seat for the thoughts from "The crazy mind of Raenita"---LOL.